On Wednesdays We Drink Beer

On Wednesdays We Drink Beer

This is maybe the quickest I’ve written a blog from the time it happens so pat on the back for me. This last weekend was probably one of the funniest I’ve had in Munich so far and its all thanks to my amazing friends, old and new. So many new inside jokes have been made; getting railed and freshed, dropping kids off and getting tear gassed; which I think proves this holiday was a success.

Saturday

Saturday was probably the most stressful day of the whole weekend. I had booked 2 airbnbs for the group, Ely and I picked his and Ed’s keys up in the morning but the other airbnbs just never replied to any of my calls, texts or whatsapps. He basically catfished (yes I’m using that as a verb now) me out of £200 but luckily I was able to get a full refund within a few hours. The situation wasn’t too critical as they could just stay at my house and actually it turned out really well.

The rest of the squad arrived at 3 so Ely and I were there to meet them since I didn’t pick up Ely when he arrived and it turned out to be quite difficult to walk him through the process of getting into the city. A bit later in the evening we went out to a classic Bavarian restaurant for tea, joined by Erwin. I think he enjoyed meeting everyone but was a tad overwhelmed by us all talking over each other and about the randomest topics.

 

Sunday

Sunday was the second day of Oktoberfest and the Trachten Umzug which is a parade of around 9000 people all wearing traditional dress of their region all over the city, finishing at Oktoberfest. There were loads of pretty dirndls and lederhosen of all different styles, countless marching bands, horses pulling carts groaning with massive beer barrels and loads more. It went on for quite a while longer than it was due to but as it ended the crowds started flooding to the Wiesn (the place where Oktoberfest is held) so we followed along with them.

 

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Cara and I in our dirndls!

Once there we headed straight for the Teufelsrad! It’s basically just a spinning wheel on the ground that you try to stay on as it spins around, with wooden steps all around it to spectate. Each round is a different age/gender category so they’ll call ‘boys 8-12’ or even ‘men over 40’ which was probably the funniest to watch. When the groups are called everyone piles on and ideally you want to be in the middle so you can’t get thrown off by the spinning. If you manage to stay on for about 20 seconds then they start swinging a big plush ball over your head and sometimes right into people’s faces, to try to push them off. Then the brave few who survive that have ropes thrown at them from both sides to try to tie them up and pull them off. It’s even more mental than it sounds and I could watch it for hours.

 

Laura and Cara were the first of us to have a go and did quite well, apart from a few burns. Then a few rounds later Laura, Cara, Ed and Ely all went on it in one round which we got some hilarious videos of.

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​​A few rounds later they announced a special boxing round and called for boys to come forward. We presumed they’d box the soft ball they usually hit people with like a piñata but no it turned out they were boxing each other with boxing gloves on.  The first round was sooo awkward to watch, the boys started fighting and one of them literally just socked the other in the face until he was nearly crying. The mother of the boy got hella mad and dragged the other boy over to apologise and then started fighting with the fairground workers. Tbh I think it was bad how violently they fought but also don’t let your kid into a boxing match if you don’t want him being hit. There was another round of boxing which was much better and funnier since they were just joking around and not trying to kill each other. They set off the wheel spinning as they wrestled so they were falling all over the place.

After we had definitely got out 4 Euros worth we headed out to get a drink and check out a beer tent. We wandered through one to see what it was like and stumbled upon an almost empty table outside. We sat with a ridiculously attractive German couple who kindly ordered our first beers and within a few minutes the woman was showing us their wedding pictures and all her family photos. We chatted with them for a bit but then they had to go and gave us their half-finished beers. By this point we had ordered 3 beers to ‘share’ between us, however it turned out that Cara and I just drank our beers alone and Cara had finished hers by the time I was halfway through mine and it started to show. We made friends with some Australians all wearing crazy shirts and a table of Danish people who only communicated with us in Oasis lyrics after we told them we come from near Manchester.
A few hours of cheersing and chatting and it was time to go for tea; mainly to try and sober Cara up. We carried her through the streets of Munich until we reached the restaurant as she repeated the same few phrases over and over, mainly about how much she loves us all (not including Ed) and how she always forgets stuff when she’s drunk. We went to hans im gluck for tea (mentioned on this blog so many times I should be paid by them) and had some amazing burgers.

 

Monday

On Monday I had to work all day so the crew had a wander around the city and explored the English garden and a beer garden.

 

Tuesday

Finally it was time for the crew to learn some of the rich history of Munich ranging from a church endorsed by the devil to a Michael Jackson memorial. I basically just made my own tour up from the millions of other tours that I’ve been on and bits of interesting stuff that’s happened to me around the city.

After that I had to run off again to pick Mimi up but the gals came back for a chill soon enough. I showed them the wonders of German recycling with the magic Pfand machine in the supermarket. You save up loads of plastic bottles and then put them into a machine which gives you about 25 cents for each bottle so you end up with a coupon for the supermarket for about 5 Euros! We stocked up on breakfast and snacks for the next day and then headed back into the city to have another hans im gluck sesh with Ed and Ely. Nearly got final destinationed on the u bahn but managed to get out unscathed.

 

Wednesday

Now for the last day and our full day at Oktoberfest! We were up bright and early to get to the beer tent just as it opened. We chose the hofbrau tent which is one of the main 6 breweries in Munich and probably the most famous. When we got there, we were actually one of the first groups in there so we could get a seat right by the band, in the centre of the action. We were all happy to wait a bit before ordering a beer (since it was 10am) but Erwin insisted on getting the first round in and we weren’t gonna pass up free beer! The next few hours the tent began to fill up and we began to fill up with beer. We made friends with a pilot and some flight attendents next to us and some English lads on the table next to us and basically just drank and chatted for a while. Some blog worthy stuff probably happened in that time but not like I remember that much! One blog worthy thing which I’m sure will be funny to everyone but me was that I got vomited on. About 2 hours after the beer started being served some idiot behind me vomited on the floor behind me and splashed it all down my back. Luckily Ed managed to mop most of it off me but my nice new dirndl will definitely need a dry clean when Oktoberfest is over.

A bit later on we saw a guy near us holding a full stein of his own vomit as he was in the process of filling another one. Classic Oktoberfest. Saying that, the atmosphere in the tent was incredible and just so funny. Every few minutes someone stood up on their bench and chugged their stein to the cheers of everyone in the tent. The best part was the worried look in their eyes when they realised that they may have underestimated how difficult it is to chug a litre of beer in one go. The people who managed it got a triumphant cheer from everyone watching but the people who pussied out got boos all round. Both groups looked queasy and regretful afterwards regardless.

After I don’t know how many beers we decided if they were gonna make it onto a plane today then we should probably get some food. Me and Cara had the ultimate beer-soaking meal, roast pork knuckle and potato dumplings with sauerkraut which was gooorg. The funniest part was that when Erwin ordered for us in German, the waitress commented how good his German was! So funny but I really don’t think he looks like he could be English at all.

Unfortunately, just as the day was getting into full swing we had to leave. Of course, by this point we had made friends with a load of random groups so actually getting out of the tent was a struggle. Then we had the problem of a very very drunk Ely and Cara duo. Ed took Cara, who told him that she missed him multiple times (they’ve just spent 4 months together) and Erwin took Ely… literally. He picked him up like a dead sheep, feet over one shoulder, arms over the other and carried him out of Oktoberfest and all the way into the underground down 2 flights of stairs. Safe to say we’re all now convinced that Erwin is a big strong manly man… and also mental.

We managed to get them to the train in once piece (Ely taking a rest on the floor) and shove them on the right one. Then it was time for me and Erwin to go back to his and pass out at 8pm like the true party people we are.

Thanks so much to my wonderful friends Cara, Laura, Ed and Ely for making this first weekend of Oktoberfest so fun and for putting up with me stressing out half the time!

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Bye to the Kiwis!

I’m officially back in Germany and back writing my blog! After complaints from mine and Ed’s mum I thought I should get one published asap to avoid any more disappointment. So after about a year of planning and fussing, my family have finally set off on their great new adventure to New Zealand!

My holiday began with a trip up to Hannover to visit Erwin’s hometown nearby. The drive was 8 hours long but it felt like about 3 days in the end; we managed only 1 fight over subway sandwiches which I count as a win. The first meeting of the parents was quite awkward and I forgot almost all the German I know which amused Erwin greatly. But as the week went on it got slightly less awkward and in the end, they were really lovely so hopefully they like me. I also met Erwin’s group of friends who I got on with super well since they were all guys and we mainly just did shots together. There were many other things I wanted to talk about but this blog is already so long so I’ll try to write another one about that trip in the near future.

I stayed with Erwin for just over a week then headed back to England for the second part of my holiday. I landed in Manchester at about 10 at night so I pretty much got home and went to bed. When I got up in the morning there was still no sign of Ted and Trin anywhere until about midday. As per usual Ted had little to no reaction when he first saw me again but Trin was happy to see me and gave me a nice hug.

The first week back was mainly going through the house and sorting stuff out to be thrown away or packed up for NZ. I’ve got most of my stuff in Germany already so it was just a few bits that I had to sort out. Of course I had to have the usual tapas date with Paige which was hilarious and mental but I was personally offended that they didn’t have my fav thing in, the goats cheese churros (cut to a whole blog post about riccis tapas).

The weekend before we were all leaving the house we held our last ever Baguley party, complete with a massive bonfire which we built over the course of a few weeks. The party was half to say goodbye to everyone at the same time and kind of half to get rid of all our leftover booze. We got a load of Costco food which I think people were happy with but secretly they were probably annoyed they didn’t get one last try of Pete’s curry. The party was a usual Baguley gathering with just a load of different groups of people and all us Baguleys running round manically saying hi to everyone and catching up and also a bit of hosting work.  At one point of the party I remember looking round and thinking how amazing and utterly crazy is this?! There was like Rufus the dog running around being cute af, a bonfire going in the field, a little fire going in the garden and just a sea of people drinking, laughing and having a good ol time. By far the best part of the night was my Dad staggering up onto the garden wall to give one of his infamous speeches. It was the usual rambling affair but still entertaining and heartfelt. But as this was the last ever party he had to get my Mum up as well to give a speech which was hilarious but lovely.

The morning after the party was on the complete opposite end of the fun spectrum. Ted was laid in bed feeling sorry for himself until about 3pm since he spent most of the night being fed every type of alcohol by my friends. Dad was up at the crack of dawn cooking up a load of fried breakfasts for everyone who didn’t make it home the previous night. It turned out we didn’t plan our time very well as that Sunday we had to clean up from the party, go to my aunts house for a roast dinner and pack up basically the whole house in time for the removal men to come the next morning.

Safe to say we managed to get it done (we packed up around Ted’s hungover corpse) and had one of the best roast dinners I’ve ever had.

Monday morning and all of our possessions that my family could live without for 8 weeks was piled up in each room ready for the movers to take. When they arrived I was a bit worried they’d take all day as they were just 3 old guys (over 50) who didn’t sound like they could speak English (they were scouse). But in 4 hours they had wrapped literally every single thing in the house and packed it all into massive boxes. Even the rugs and the pictures on the walls in my room were taken! After they had left it really felt like our days there were numbered. I was the only one still with a proper bed (it would be gone by Wednesday) and the rest were all on mattresses with old bedding and living out of suitcases.

Tuesday was Trins birthday so we went to Trafford centre to get rid of our pounds and fill up our suitcases even more. To add to the festivities, we had been invited round to our next door neighours, Kevin and Pauline. Every Christmas Eve for about 13 years we have been going round to their house to get into the Christmas spirit. Pauline is an amazing cook and makes her own homemade bread, potatoes and the main event… a gorgeous roast ham. We go round and first have some punch and nibbles, then to the dining room for dinner in which we always are the first people to cut her Christmas cake (even though its not Christmas yet) and after we play games and chat until its time to go home and wait for Santa to come! Of course this year we won’t be there to celebrate with them so Pauline invited us round for one more Christmas Eve, in August.  It was all going well until we remembered that my Mum had recently decided to become vegetarian which meant she couldn’t have any of Pauline’s famous ham. We all agreed that we would let her off this time and she could pause her veggie diet to have some. But as we sat down Pauline announced that she had also gone veggie so Mum stuck with her and had some quorn sausages instead of a glorious juicy ham.

After that Wednesday morning was kind of odd because we felt like it should be Christmas. Instead someone came to pick my cat Pixie up, to adopt her. Since we’re renting our house out to people with a dog we couldn’t leave the cats there. Pixie is quite a simple cat (lol) so she was easy to re-home but Maggie was more difficult because she was over 15 and had lived in and around the house her whole life. We made the difficult decision to put her down and bury her in the garden next to our old dog Poppy just so we know where she is and that she’s not confused or in pain with other people. It was a really really hard day and we all miss her a lot but I think it was the best decision in the end.

The next day was the last day in the house and the day that my family were flying off to NZ. They were to be picked up by their fancy business class chauffeur service at 4pm and by 3pm Dad had finally started to put his stuff in his suitcases… Vicky and John came round to pick me up and say goodbye to my Mum but we ended up all sat round on camp chairs in the empty living room for a while which made it a bit less emotional. After an hour of waiting and pacing around their taxi finally arrived and the waterworks started. We had hugs all round and packed them into the car. I was sad to see them go but I know I’ll speak to my mum everyday anyway (which I have done so far) and they’re gonna have a great time over there and an amazing adventure.

I think because I’ve already moved out and set up my life in Germany, I’m not that bothered about saying goodbye to my childhood home. I know that whenever I go back to England I have my friends and their families to take me in and be my England fam. Special shoutout to the Barraclough/Wells fam for taking me in when I was homeless for a few days before coming back to Germany!

All in all I see my family going to New Zealand not as a sad thing but as an exciting opportunity for them- and a nice holiday destination for me! They are so brave (not) for doing it and I’m so so excited for Ted and Trin to pick up a bit of a New Zealand accent. I’m sure it might be tough at times to be so far away from me and from all our family friends and to be in a completely new place but all of us are always up for a catch up and a gossip on facetime. And to everyone saying how brave they are for going, I bloody left my home, moved to a foreign country where I knew no one and had to learn a whole language so yeah who’s the brave Baguley now?!

 

Paige’s Visit

So once again its been bloody ages since I last blogged but the other weekend Paige finally came over to visit me in Munich so I thought I had to write about it. It was a surprise for both of us for our birthdays since we are only a week apart.

She arrived on Friday evening and I wasted no time showing her the best things about Bavaria, the beer and the food! Paige wasn’t sure at first if she’d like the beer so I promised to order her a half. Of course this was half of a litre so the look on her face when the waiter brought it out was priceless. After this we met up with Maureen to go for ice cream (at like 9pm because its always a good time for ice cream). Our fav ice cream place is der verrückte eismacher which is like a crazy alice in wonderland inspired spot which has the best and craziest ice cream flavours. A few of my favourites are; strawberry champagne, roasted almonds and toothpaste flavour. They also have some really gross flavours like beer, wurst and even ‘pregnant woman’s dream’ which is pickle and nutella flavour. I’ve tried all of these and I can confirm that they taste exactly like the real thing and they’re absolutely disgusting!!

After our ice cream adventure we headed back to our airbnb which was in a prime location, 5 mins walk from the englischer garten and the university district. It had a tiny kitchen which we only used to store beer in and a scenic view of the sushi restaurant next door.

Saturday morning we decided to pop out for breakfast nearby and of course Paige had to have an English breakfast on her first day in Germany. After this it was time for the ultimate Heather tour of Munich…

The tour is a mix of fun facts and historical information that I’ve picked up living in the city and also going on an official waking tour a record 6 times. It also includes some random Heather trivia such as first meeting/first date spots and funny club stories. I’ve done this tour now with Paige but I have a request from Maureen and her parents to do one for them while they are in town for the next few weeks- I may have to start charging!

It begins with a wander through the English Garden- unfortunately only a light sprinkling of people in the nudist area- enjoying the view of a few groups of guys playing volleyball and taking a few group pics for passing tourists. Every time I go through the park I always seem to go a different way or find a new part and this time was no exception. We made a random turn which I thought was the usual path but came across a small waterfall connecting the fast flowing Eisbach to the gentler paddleable Schwabinger Bach. It was there where this cute but slightly awks pic was taken.

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After this we crossed over the Eisbach and headed towards the surfers. On the way we were met by a stag party who have seem to overrun the city recently. I’m not sure if its just a German thing or maybe European but usually the hen or stag dos wander round the city selling weird trinkets to people or inviting people to play silly games with them for alcohol. Previously I’ve been offered to shoot a ball at the stag dressed in a pigeon costume in return for a free shot… at 10 in the morning. This time it was a group of lads selling random trinkets which is basically just a way to get the stag to banter and flirt with some girls before he gets married. I spotted them from a way off and caught the eye of one of them who shoved the stag towards me. He went through his usual schpiel and I didn’t quite like the look of his trinkets so I proposed I buy a beer off them instead. They weren’t so sure so I used my cute British charm and locked eyes with the groom, nearly making him shit himself, until he agreed to sell us a beer. What followed was some incredibly flirty, German innuendo ridden haggling which Paige was absolutely baffled at and confused as to why I was even speaking to these guys and even what I was saying. We left with 2 beers and my flirting muscles sufficiently flexed for the day.

We then continued on with our newly bought beers to watch the surfers for a bit. A few weeks ago there was a mini heatwave so a few brave souls started surfing without wetsuits in just normal swimming trunks but now its back down to around 24 degrees (I know practically arctic temperatures) they’re back in wetsuits.

After the tour of our lives we were shattered so we ended up having a quick nap (getting wild on this gals holiday) before getting ready to go to the base. By the time we were ready Paige was so nervous I thought she might run away on the U-bahn and get her flight 24 hours early. Luckily we made it to the base and Paige finally met Erwin who shes long past being sick of hearing about but glad to meet (I think). He had gathered the troops (literally) in his building along with his entire stash of alcohol and mixers. It started off a tad awkward, as expected, but soon Paige was part of the group and we were all drinking and playing stupid games together. I was finally convinced to play beer pong which, after months of persuading, wasn’t even that fun and tbh didn’t include as much drinking as I would have liked.

As per usual we finally got on our way out waaay later than an English night out and got to the club at like 1:30am. We got in the club and I got straight on the dancefloor forcing everyone else on with me before someone offered drinks around. This was a particular challenge for Paige because somehow its only a German thing to give you the whole can of red bull with a vodka energy. The thing is they give you the can upside down in the glass with the vodka so you have to carefully pull the glass out and turn the can the right way up before it overflows. I was minding my own business enjoying my drink when a spray of red bull goes flying majestically all over the group… I look over and Paige is stood there looking guilty with a glass full to the brim in one hand and a dripping red bull can in the other.

The rest of the night went by as it always does; me on a podium with a soldier that’s definitely not the one I should be with, dancing like I need rent money and having the time of my life. At one point Erwin handed me a shot and a fruit of some sort which I took without thinking and found out later it was tequila which usually I can’t handle., proud moment. Later in the night it became obvious that me and Paige weren’t going to be staying in our airbnb so we piled into a taxi with our respective soldiers and parted ways at the entrance gate.

The morning after Erwin drove us back to the airbnb and we packed up our stuff to move out. Surprisingly I wasn’t feeling hungover or tired at all which I voiced to Paige on the train to the airport (this would come back to bite me later). I took her all the way to security and said goodbye until either she comes over again or until I’m back in England. By this point my hangover was developing and I was already hangry af so I decided to try to find the elusive Munich airport McDonalds which I’ve never been able to find even with my millions of visits to the airport. I found it, nearly tackled a rabble of children to get my chicken nuggets and hobbled back to the train.

All in all the weekend was so fun and I don’t think me and Paige ever stopped talking or laughing! Hopefully she can make it over again soon, I don’t think I need to convince her at all. Now I’ve got to shoutout my Mum since I never blogged about her and Trin’s visit like a month ago. In my defence she’s here so much its hardly a special occasion anymore, lol. In a few weeks my whole family, plus Lee (see a few blogs back for his last visit) are coming to visit before they jet off to NZ so there should eventually be a blog on that!

 

 

Sag nichts über die Zwillinge… the Mafia is watching!

So since I enjoyed writing about a few members of my language class last time and since I spend half my time there, I’ve decided to write a whole blog on it! Of course I’ve already mentioned the legendary Enzo and the aggressively legendary Maureen but there’s also a variety of characters I haven’t touched on.

I first started with this particular group in January and was quickly adopted in as the baby of the group, since the average age of the group is about 40. This was a B1 course but the few key members of the class had been together for about 2 years since they started A1, the first level of German.

The group is like a big family really, just with all mums and grandmas, one dad and a few kids. As its an adult course its very relaxed and can easily descend into a discussion about almost anything. We’ve talked about education, jobs, body image and of course my cousins wedding, affair and eventual love child… all in German. At first it was a shock to the system after A Level German with daily vocab tests and essay writing but I’ve learnt to love this new, much more relaxed teaching style. I also think my increase in motivation is down to the fact that I’m now learning German for myself and my future, not just to pass an exam.

Class starts promptly at 10:45… or at 11 by the time everyone has turned up, had a catch up and a quick gossip, opened every possible window for ‘frische Luft’ and settled down. We start class by going through the homework which is either asking Claudia about difficult sections or guiltily trying not to make eye contact with her when you haven’t done it. This will be followed by a 5 minute chat break and then we might start an exercise. Its so relaxed sometimes I barely realise we’re doing anything but looking back on my books, we’ve really covered a lot.

Now onto the characters of the group! It may seem odd to call them characters but really they seem like people from a book and since we’re all thrown together in such a strange situation, it really feels totally bizarre sometimes.

Firstly, Nicki one of my favourites. She’s from Holland but living and working in Germany. Shes in her late forties and has a daughter the same age as me but she always loves to group herself in with the ‘young people’ when it is brought up. She is a lovely person and always dressed so well and sophisticated. She sits on the opposite end of the room to the teacher Claudia like 2 queens sitting at the head of the table.

Now with the next person I’m going to tell you about I’m stepping into very risky territory… Natalia is a middle aged Russian housewife. Let me rephrase that; shes a Russian mafia wife. And no I’m not just saying that because shes Russian. She dresses in the most expensive looking clothes, hair and nails done impeccably with a different Prada bag under her arm every lesson. She also has 2 phones which she explained to us; one is for Munich and one is for Moscow…mysterious. Also (aside from the mafia thing) she’ll randomly just walk out of class at any time, for any amount of time and then return mysteriously with just a cup of hot water from the coffee machine downstairs. The class lasts for about 2 hours with a 15 minute break halfway so it’s not difficult to sit through. But I guess when you’re in the Russian mafia you can do what you please…

My next person and a surprise return to the class just the other day is Anna. Shes originally from Russia but lived in America for a few years before moving to Germany. Due to this she loves to speak English whenever she can. Unfortunately this means that her German sometimes (all the time) fades into English at the end of the sentence. This is perfect for me as I think I can understand all of her German but of course I do when half of it is in my native language! Recently, Anna was missing from class which led to her being the subject of a whole lessons-worth of discussion. The topic of the lesson was ‘Vermutungen’ or assumptions so we had to use a specific grammar structure to voice our assumptions on where Anna was. This ranged from ‘her kids might be ill’ to ‘she might have fled the country’. Fortunately she returned to class the other day and continued her work in consolidating ‘Ginglish’ as a language.

Another recent return to class is Snjezana, a Serbian woman in her 60’s who works at an old folks home which she never stops bloody complaining about. During winter she was absolute goals, waltzing in in a floor length fur coat every day, looking like a true Soviet dream. She smokes which always leads to her being chastised for it or being used as an example by Claudia in class. She replies which a wheezing laugh and pops another cough drop in. She once offered her cough sweets round the class so I took one out of politeness. Unfortunately it turned out to be eucalyptus flavour which made the next 5 minutes feel like I was breathing in a thousand eucalyptus leaves while standing, naked, at the North Pole. Safe to say my lungs will be clear for the next 10 years and I’ll be glad to never take one of Snjezana’s sweets again.

Aside from the many characters, me and Maureen also create our own fun in class. Maureen and I only properly met and became friends around March/April but we’re already into matching outfits. This started when I told her about the old Crossleys tradition of Formal Friday and we decided to bring it to our class to see if anyone noticed us suddenly dressing for the boardroom. This quickly developed into different themes for each week but no-one seemed to take note. We even had one of our classmates (Enzo) take a picture of us posing in our matching formal outfits but still he said nothing. Eventually we got sick of the shade from our classmates and straight up went out and bought matching T-shirts. We turned up to class in our completely matching outfits, made a quick Boomerang and catwalked into the classroom. We got a few dodgy looks, but no comments yet. It wasn’t until the break when one of the au pair girls mentioned our matchingness and said that she’d noticed us matching before but thought it too rude to mention it. We considered this a victory in our matching game and rewarded ourselves with an after-class ice cream. See below a preview of our v professional Boomerang shoot.

 

Easter 2017- Clubbing, concussions and chips

So throwback to Easter time! I started writing this blog on the flight back from England nearly 3 weeks ago now and got sick of it tbh. Since most of you who read this were with me for most of the events it should be funny to be reminded of the crazy, roller coaster ride that is my life. This blog is crazy long so I’m just gonna do highlights of the 2 weeks.

 

The first Saturday of the Easter holidays was my first night out in nearly 3 months and I definitely was not ready. Two porn star martini pitchers in spoons and I was ready to go. I’m gonna be honest, I don’t remember much of Atik apart from getting down hard with literally everyone from Crossleys and going back to ‘old habits’ (you know what I mean).

The next morning I woke up; as usual; in Ely’s bed absolutely DEAD. For the first time in 2 years I had a not-so-tactical chunder which I hope to never relive. My excuse is that I hadn’t been out in so long that my body had become a lightweight but in my mind, I still needed the same amount of drinks. Ed came and woke us up at 2pm ready to take us to Nandos for a much-needed catch up. This then led to the lowest point in my life in which I chobbed in Nandos toilet. Ed was way too amused by my awful state but I guess that came back to bite him at Cara’s birthday night out…

With my chicken and creamy mash left untouched, we moved on to Costa which finally revived me. The rest of the day we spent on a mini road trip around fax in the panda, exploring beacon hill (nearly getting blown away) and blasting Bublé.

 

The next Monday Mum, Trin and I decided to have a gals day; shopping, food and beauty and the beast! Admittedly I went a tad overboard with the shopping, having not seen Primark for over 3 months. I bought all the summer clothes (not realising it was currently snowing back in Munich at the time) and even a new suitcase which was an absolutely vital purchase obviously. After shopping we headed to the cinema and stopped on the way to jump on the year-old hype and try Five Guys. I must say it’s not too shabby but defo not as good as Hans im Gluck. Next stop was beauty and the beast time and omg it was even better the second time around. If I could add emojis to this, know that I would put about 5 heart eyes here! Of course we had to get them Disney songs on BLAST the whole drive home and we discovered there no better feeling than to roll up next to a car with bass pumping out only to roll down the windows and hit them with ‘Under the Sea’.

 

The next Friday was my next night out, albeit an accidental one. I feel victim to the classic ‘few drinks in spoons’ routine which ended up with a night in Atik. The night was going well until some wannabe DJ decided to show his ‘mad skills’ which basically involved him completely stopping the music and turning off all the lights every other minute to ‘build tension’ and then playing 10 seconds of a good song. This DJ also randomly played some robotic voice shouting ‘Atik systems reboot, system check’ which is really not my favourite thing to dance to but I guess it would be exciting for the 16 year olds crammed in there on their first night out. Another great injustice in Atik that night was the appearance of some random gogo dancers and a guy playing neon lighted bongos. First of all, me and half the girls in fax would have got up on that stage and done a much better job than those girls for free!! The neon bongo drum man I respect, he was never on beat with the song playing but at least he looked like he was having a good time.

 

So Easter Sunday and naturally we were feeling spiritual and religious af in our household… We were on our way to Vicky’s house to see her new place and have a brew, cruising through the village when mum slams on the brakes and screams “get that egg!!”. I look around and there’s an Easter egg perched on a wall at the side of the road. I ran over and grabbed it and found that it was from a church just down the road. The note on the egg said take this egg and enjoy because jebus is alive or something- we gave it to Vicky as we would probably burn up if we had it.

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Me and Trin with our found Easter egg


The next day was Easter Monday so we were all off again. The only thing left on my English food bucket list for this trip was fish and chips which I could get easily like 10 minutes from my door but no, if I’m gonna come 900 miles for fish and chips, I want proper seaside fish and chips. So, we had a road trip down to Llandudno, Wales for some seaside fun! By the time we got there, we were starving so we dived into the nearest greasy spoon caf and had our fish and chips with a brew. Afterwards we hit the arcades to live our Tipping Point dreams on the 2p machines and celebrated our eventual £2 loss with some hot fresh donuts to top off the day.

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Baguleys in Llandudno

The following Wednesday I was ready for another night out and of course I had to hit Hudds while I was back. It ended up being Lewis, Cara (follow her blog http://www.carryoncara.wordpress.com), Ed, Ely and me. We met up in spoons which was hosting some random song-bingo thing (I have no idea) which we got waaay too into and didn’t even win. After our not-so-gracious defeat, we moved on to Tokes for some 90p drinks. The night was pretty much, getting down as many 90p drinks as we could before they got expensive again, meeting everyone from Crossleys and judging contoured girls wearing ridiculous dresses and drag queen quality heels (take that as a read if you will). The night ended, as it always should, with me cradling a box of 20 nuggets, stumbling down Ely’s road, whining about life.

 

So now for the re-telling of the best night out of the holiday… Cara’s birthday. The night began with me getting ready at Ely’s and walking him through my professional and very well thought out make up routine. My makeup was definitely improved by the mix of white wine, archers and lemonade I was drinking (all mixed together, how am I still alive?!). Luckily we made it to Cara’s in time for champagne for prinks and we ended up being the first into acca (not a proud achievement).
Once in acca I took full advantage of the 75p drinks, after living with 9 Euro vodka cokes in Munich and was just about gone by 10:30pm. At this point Ed lowkey died and was the most affectionate he’s ever been to me and basically anyone who got too close. After a few songs of literally propping Ed up on the dancefloor we started to go outside and gather the squad to move on to Atik. I left Ed hunched over, held up by a bollard and lost track of him until later when Ely told me that him and one of Cara’s friends had taken him back to Cara’s.

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With my European buddy!

On the way to Atik I had the fab idea of taking my heels off but luckily Natalie saved me from catching a dodgy foot disease and started carrying me. All was going well until Lewis decided to tackle Natalie which slammed us both to the ground and caused me to hit my head on the pavement hard. Luckily the 4-6 archers and lemonade I’d had meant I felt almost nothing and sprung up instantly. Despite the question of if I had concussion or not, we carried on into Atik with Lewis begging forgiveness and offering drinks in return for my destroyed brain cells. We made it into Atik and I headed to Cara’s booth for that free bottle of vodka yaaas. Admittedly, this is where I’m fuzzy in my memory but I mainly remember dancing downstairs and ‘making friends with’ Americans. My next memory is a few hours later ‘saying goodbye’ to the Americans and then walking back home with Ely.

I woke up the next morning quite proud of the previous night’s events and the fact that I drank so much and didn’t seem to have a hangover. It was at this time that I discovered the effects of my fall which included bruises on my elbow, arm and my whole lower leg and a lump on my head which so far hasn’t caused any noticeable damage so I’m not gonna think about. I said goodbye to Ely until summer (OKTOBERFEST!!) and headed home to sleep for another 6 hours.

Sunday was my last full day so I rounded off my visit with a day with the family. This was the day I was most looking forward to as I would finally get to have my Auntie Carol’s famous Sunday roast. It was A M A Z I N G. Roast potatoes, Yorkshires, mash, cabbage, carrots, beef, pork and most importantly gravy! I really need to learn how to make Yorkshire puddings and gravy so I can show Mimi and the family the most heavenly food on this planet. My holiday was finally completed by a visit from Paige and Vicky in the evening, who I’m hopefully travelling with when I visit the fam in New Zealand for Christmas!

Phew! As you can tell from the 1600 words, Easter was a packed time but extremely fun and lovely to see everyone again. I’ve discovered I like being back in England for short burst but after a week or so I’m really ready to come ‘home’ back to Germany which is a nice feeling even if it does freak my mum out. I’ve been home about a month now and so far my possible concussion hasn’t caused any problems, that I’m aware of, so Lewis and Natalie can be glad they didn’t kill me! Shoutout to Ed and Cara who right now are on their way to Thailand for their Asian adventure until August. I’m sure they’ll have an amazing time and Cara should come back with some awesome blog stories (and hopefully some killer German skills); Ed should just come back alive please!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Smoothies, Jazz and Wiccan spells…

Smoothies, Jazz and Wiccan spells…

So I know I haven’t yet posted my Easter blog but I’m halfway through and I’m on 3000 words so I think I deserve a break from it. Anyway,  last weekend was unexpectedly eventful for me so I decided to get a blog written while I’m motivated and actually doing things. I also have to dedicate this blog to my new friend Maureen who I promise isn’t an old Polish woman I hang out with…well. No Maureen is new to my language class and its safe to say we equally encourage and distract each other. Shes 27 and comes from San Jose, California so shes obviously one of those liberal hippies ugh! Usually we don’t mind our age gap but often one of us will say something and the other either wasn’t alive at that time or they have no idea what they mean. Case in point: I asked what JNCO jeans were and Maureen’s mind exploded. But in the end, shes awesome and introduced me to some lovely people and some cool stuff (like food truck friday). Check out our aggressively matching clothes on our matching insta: https://instagram.com/p/BSWjc6wAhaN/

My weekend started with an interesting German lesson without my usual buddy Maureen. She had done the unspeakable and left me with our class of Russian mafia matriarchs, housewives, au pairs and Enzo- our only male member of class who somehow can’t read or form a complete sentence of German but is still in a B2 course, and yet we still love him and his funky array of glasses.

Later in the evening I met up with Maureen to check out food truck Friday which I have been looking forward to for weeks since I missed the last one.  Food truck Friday only happens on the first Friday of the month and its basically a gathering of a load of food trucks from all over Munich which gives you a wide choice of food to enjoy. The trucks there included; BBQ, indian, thai, vegan, Ethiopian and loads more. I got a pulled turkey roll which was heaven in a bun tbh. After my turkey indulgence I decided to try and redeem myself with a vegan smoothie which didn’t go well…. First off the guy who served me told me it was ‘wild herbs, pineapple and some other stuff’ and as soon as I took my first sip I realised the ‘other stuff’ must have been grass, dirt and a sprinkle of leaves. You may think I’m exaggerating but I legit had to pull multiple stalks of grass out of my mouth. Safe to say my vegan dreams aren’t gonna happen anytime soon.

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My pulled turkey heaven in a bun

After my disastrous dip into veganism we were off to a café/bookshop in the university quarter of the city called Lost Weekend for a jazz open mic night which is probably the coolest thing I’ve done in a while. The atmosphere in the place was so open and modern and the band was amazing. They started out playing all sorts of music then they invited people up onto the stage to play with them. It felt like a massive jam session that we all got to enjoy and watch. My favourite person to go up was a guy called Echo who was about late 40s but rocking a half un-buttoned Hamish-style visually assaulting shirt. He skatted for a full 5 minutes and jammed with the band for a bit before stepping off the stage and walking through the crowd like a hipster sweaty af jesus. After him was a violinist, French horn, saxophone and 2 impossibly cute Irish twins singing.

Saturday was the first day in a week that was goodish weather so Maureen, Brooke and I decided to go for a hike in the nearby mountains. Of course, our hike would be a Kardashian style ‘hike’ which was light in physical activity but heavy in Instagram opportunities. We chose a Freilichtmuseum just near to Garmisch mainly because there was goat petting advertised in the hiking handbook. A Freilichtmuseum is like an open-air museum and this particular one was a recreation of a farming settlement from 1700-1900 so you could walk inside all the houses and see how the farmers of Bavaria used to live.

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One of the less creepy houses

It was cool to explore the settlement but inside the houses with all the old furniture and belongings of the people that lived there were creepy af and definitely haunted. Luckily Maureen knows some Wiccan spells and her supernatural skills have been proven to get rid of spirits so we all good. Apart from the creepy houses (legit human hair in one, framed) there were some gorgeous views of the rolling Bavarian hills with Kochelsee below us and the mountains framing the view all around us. It really made me appreciate that I live in such a beautiful place and we are so lucky to live close to such a vibrant city and then be able to escape to open natural spaces in under an hour.

Once we had been sufficiently haunted we drove down to the lake to find a beer garden for some replenishment then headed back home, pumping the throwback tunes all the way.

Pete and Lee take Munich

Pete and Lee take Munich

Another week, another blog and this time my dad Pete finally has one of his own! A few weeks ago I received a very random facetime from my dad in which he told me he and his friend Lee were coming to visit and go skiing in just 3 weeks. So yet again I was host and tour guide for Munich. The plan was to have a few days in the city and have a day skiing in the resort nearby which is really a fab idea because you get a city break and a mini ski holiday in just one weekend.

Thursday

The pair were due to arrive in Munich at around 2 so the plan was to meet them in Hauptbahnhof and help them find and sort out their airbnb. I found them quite easily as my Dad was the only ginger person, apart from me, for miles around (we are a rare breed here). It turned out their airbnb was right next to the Theresienwiese which is where Oktoberfest is held so I am lowkey an expert of the area.

We decided to have the most stereotypical and classic night in Munich so we went to Hofbrauhaus for dinner. All was going well until we were joined on our table by a raggedy looking German guy who seemed like he should have been trying to con us out of money or a beer or something but he wasn’t very good at it. He was rambling away about not having any money or a job then he’d randomly switch to a completely different story. At one point he got his guitar case out and showed us an onion he had apparently stolen before and then started cringingly playing us a song. This got the attention if the Hofbrauhaus security which I’ve never seen before and I didn’t even know was a thing. Turns out he hadn’t paid for his beer so he got chucked out. We had another beer in the brau haus next to Dad and Lee’s airbnb then I headed home on the train, which is always fun when you’re half cut.

Friday

I had my German class in the morning which meant that I avoided going on the free walking tour of Munich with Dad and Lee for the 5th time since I’ve been here. They also wanted to visit the BMW Museum which I’ve also been on and lowkey wouldn’t recommend unless you’re actually into cars which I guess is obvious but whatever. This meant that I could sneak in a cheeky post class nap before meeting up with them for tea.

I took them to Hans im Gluck which I’ve mentioned before on this blog but its honestly one of my favourite lunch/cocktail spots in the city. As per, my visitors were v v impressed with not only the burgers but also the design of the place. The name Hans im Gluck comes from a German fairytale so the restaurants are filled with real birch logs so it feels like a forest in there. There’s always a really nice chilled vibe in there and all of the waiting staff are 8+ and look like asos models.

After our burger feast we had a quick beer in a local Augustiner which is actually where I stole my stein from and its also the oldest brewery in Munich. I thought I should try a strong beer as it is stark bier season and it was actually quite nice but I could definitely see how the monks could live on just that over lent. I picked up my stash of crumpets, chocolate and crisps and went home for an early night before skiing in the morning.

Saturday

I’m sure Dad and Lee would rather have got to the mountains the night before and woken up already on the piste but I managed to convince them to hold on for a bit longer. We chose the 8am train to get there for the first lift at 9 so I was up ridiculously early to get to Hauptbahnhof and get our tickets. Luckily the train ride was really relaxing and had great views of the Alps.

Once there we swapped our train tickets for ski passes, picked up our ski stuff and were on a gondola up to the pistes within 30 minutes of getting off the train. I really found that after my previous week in France skiing it was so much easier to get back into it and I could definitely feel that I’ve gained a lot of muscle #gains. It took Dad and Lee a few runs down a nice wide blue to get back into it but soon we were ready to explore the other side of the mountain. Of course after an hour I was ready for my usual skiing 11am Gluhwein which really loosened me up ready to try some reds which were quite challenging or ‘tasty’ as Dad likes to call them. Soon it was time for lunch and Dad and Lee were tiring a bit so we carbed up on pasta which really had the adverse effect to be honest.

In the afternoon I was ready to really go for it and I even managed to lap Dad and Lee down a run twice! Garmisch is a lot bigger than I expected and we didn’t even make it to another nearby mountain called the Zugspitze which is Germany’s highest mountain. I’ll definitely be going back but probably next season as there’s only a few more weeks of this season. I’m still sure that my kid will be a million times better and faster than me but I can go every week for free so I’ll take that opportunity!

Before we headed back to the city, me and the lads went for some apres at a classic little place which was pumping out Schlager music and Pommes all over the place. The train ride home was a lot shorter as we all ended up falling asleep for the whole journey home. We freshened up at the airbnb before heading out again for tea.

We went to a really nice traditioanl Bavarian place me Mum and Dad found when they visited in November. Me and Lee both had schnitzels which were about the size of my face but gorgeous and dad had pork steak on a bed of kasespatzle which is basically german mac and cheese. The food was amazing, as per, but we were all nearly falling asleep by the time we were finished so decided to call it a night. We parted ways in Hauptbahnhof and said goodbye for the last time as their flight was early the next morning and I was confident that they could find their way to the airport without ending up in Austria or worse… France.

Phew blog finished and only a whole week after the actual content! This week has been interesting to say the least. I restarted my new language course which is a level up from before and the level that I need to work and study here. For me that’s such a motivation to do really well and make the most of the classes, and they have become a lot more challenging which I’m really enjoying. Another nice thing is that there are some new people in my class so I’ve been becoming closer to them and closer to the other au pairs. It’s so nice to have people here who are having a similar experience to me and can offer another point of view. On the other hand I am homesick like crazy for my friends back home and I can’t wait to be home with everyone at Easter!